Hum, hum, hum.
The bicycle is spinning under me - a new song is circling in my head. I am sweating in the cold and there is a long unchanging path ahead of me. I am in the woods.
There I was. In the woods. Cycling through the beautiful nature and feeling frustrated because I had expectations that were not being met.
I had expectations of what my coffee would taste like in the morning (I can't shake that one...), expectations about how people I care about should act, expectations of being recognised for my abilities. And this was tearing me up in my mind because things were not the way I thought they should be.
I slowly realised what a foolish struggle I was creating for myself and I set about changing this.
This change has taken me years of perseverance but my motivation lied in the fact that something that felt out of my control was suddenly in my control. I could now decide how to interpret behaviours and actions in a way that was constructive to me. Wow, brilliant (why did that not occur to me before...?)!
I keep on top of negative thoughts now - the bike ride is a good place to test this and I ask myself: Am I expecting unrealistic things? Am I feeling frustrated? Am I unreasonable or selfish?
When I interact with people - strangers, friends or family - I am now pretty darn good at not expecting from them. And it is beautiful to see when they realise this - they have freedom and it sparks something different in them. They know that I am open and not judgemental to their behaviour.
Expectations always pose a dangerous trap for me but keeping on top of it like this helps a lot and allows my inspiration and imagination to fly.